Week 11-How to Respond

A man digs through trash on the side of the road, searching for food in that which has been discarded by another. A toddler returns home after working with his family, cutting wood with a machete. A four-year-old girl struggles to color because her dominant hand has an IV in it, pumping her cancer-ridden body full of chemicals.

Witnessing events like these, here and at home, causes an emotional response in the bystander: sadness, guilt, pity. I mean, even watching those commercials about the dying kittens and puppies can cause some to go into hysterics! But what do we do with that? Are sadness, guilt, and pity fleeting enough that if we just wait, we can move on without having to do anything? That seems wasteful—we are called to be good stewards of what we are given, and, at times, what we are given is an emotion that will propel us into action.

Obviously, I have experienced pity while here. Almost daily, I witness something that reminds me that God’s Kingdom on earth is not as it is in Heaven, yet. I struggle, though, with what to do with this feeling.  I am not convinced that I should feel guilty because I was born into a different set of circumstances than others; I am convinced that because of the privilege that I have experienced and continue to experience, I am compelled to be filled with compassion and empathy for all and that my responsibility to others should be greater.

Thinking about an appropriate response to sadness, guilt, and pity, I have created a working list of actions that can be taken:

Be grateful. A person who is grateful realizes that all blessings come from God, and that God is calling you to be a blessing.  Ingratitude leads to destructive behaviors. Gratitude leads to a love of life and life’s Creator.

Be empathetic. Realize that your experiences and the experiences of another are completely different; life is understood and interpreted differently for each person. Do what you can to remove yourself from your understandings and place yourself in those of another. Let empathy prevent quick and, oftentimes, harsh judgment. Let empathy guide you to helping without question. Let empathy allow you to love unconditionally.

Take action. Not everyone will move to another country—not everyone should move to another country! But everyone can perform kind actions; everyone can be the hands and feet of God. That could mean working with a non-profit or ministry. That could mean opening up your home and being hospitable. That could mean fostering a child or mentoring a child who lacks a positive adult influence. That could mean sitting down and talking with a person in such a way that the person leaves knowing that he or she is important and loved. Be someone who walks into the room and turns on the light—there are enough people who are doing their best to bring darkness into our world.

Pray for somebody. “I’ll pray for you” has become this trivial phrase that can mean, “I want you to know that I feel bad, and saying this will make me feel better.” Speaking to the Great Physician, the Creator of the Universe, Our Holy Father on behalf of another is not inconsequential. You are going before God to talk to Him about another person. Let that sit with you for a second. There is nothing small about that.

As I said, this is a working list. Each person will respond differently. The important thing is that you respond.

Week 9-Family Photo

This basically sums up our life here. Just add a broken down truck and a lack of water, and it would be perfect!

Next week, I am going on an adventure with my parents, so no update. I know--all 20 of you will be very sad!

Week 8-Bragging on the Boys

Last week’s post was serious. This week, I am just going to play the part of a gushing parent and brag on our boys.

Two weeks ago, we attended a special ceremony at the boys’ school that honored the top performers in each grade. Four of our boys (Francisco, Mario, Marvin, and Yovani) received a medal for being on the honor roll all last year. Each time one of our boys’ names was called, all of their friends loudly cheered for them—our kids are clearly the rock stars of the school. Yovani also received an award for having the highest grade in the school. This kid had to compete with kids who were just learning their ABCs to get a grade and still won. Also, Yovani (this kid is an overachiever) won first place in an inter-bilingual school track meet for the 800-meter dash.

Yesterday, David, Antonio, and I went to cheer on Jairo at his soccer game. Jairo had some excellent kicks in the game and was cracking jokes with some of the parents before the game—what he lacks in talent, he makes up in charm. In the end, his team won 3-2. Let me just say, every parent here could be a soccer coach, and many of them try to prove it during the games. The kids listened to their coach and their parents and still ended up winning. That’s impressive.

Antonio continues to go to school every Sunday and says he is enjoying it. Throughout the week, Antonio has been helping different mission groups build houses. He has not been doing this for a long time, but he is already a professional. Antonio is not one to boss people around, but instead just quietly works on the job until it is finished.

Lessons with Henrry are moving right along. Tonight, he impressed the younger boys with his English skills—he said he had a good teacher; I think that I am just lucky that whatever I am throwing at him is actually sticking. I have been trying to focus on only present tense verbs, but last night he said that he wanted to learn future and past tense, too. He picked it up with no problem.

The boys play soccer almost every evening. While it can be like pulling teeth to get the boys to go outside, once they are out there, it becomes difficult to get them to come in. I am always impressed by Saul’s soccer skills. He will doing things with his feet that I know if I tried, I would end up on my face. He is also really good with the boys who aren’t playing at the same skill level—he doesn’t become angry or annoyed. He just enjoys playing the game with them.

Carlos continues to be a huge help here. When David goes to the States next month, I know that I will rely a lot on him. I have no fear that he will make sure everything will go well. Aside from working here, Carlos has become an excellent father. Though I do not see him and Noah very often, I can sometimes hear their interactions—Carlos is always being goofy to make his son happy.

I have had very little to do with who these boys are, but I am still filled with pride when I think about them. I am thankful that God gave me this chance to witness all of their successes.

Week 7- A Simple "Yes" or "No"

Preface: This post is not going to be a feel-good post. Within these words, you will not find endearing stories about our boys or accounts of different accomplishments. Many times, I think missionaries are expected to only speak about the good times; but we all know (or should know) that the mission field is dotted with failure. Missionaries face disappointments and broken promises.  So, if you are looking for a post that will make you feel good, check back next week or read a previous post. Today’s is going to address a problem that all missionaries and mission organizations deal with almost daily.

My youth group years were some of the most formative years of my life. I was blessed to attend a church that had a strong youth group guided by leaders who cared about us holistically—spiritually, physically, and socially. However, there are only a few lessons that I actually remember from my youth ministers. Of course, my thinking and personal theology has been shaped by what was presented to me, but few actual lessons stick out. One lesson that latched into my consciousness was on James 5:12: “Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear--not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No.’ Otherwise you will be condemned.” Basically, the core of the lesson was that you should not have to add “I promise” to a statement for people to take you at your word. A person should have such a reputation of being trustworthy that when this person says s/he will do something, there is no doubt that this person will do it.

This lesson probably stuck with me because throughout part of my childhood, I played loose and dirty with the truth. I found that lying could sometimes get me out of short-lived trouble; usually, though, it led to some longer-term punishments. Since then, the truth has always been important to me—you could say, it was beaten into me. I have been accused of being brutally honest at times. Little lies bother me; deception enrages me. My trust is something that I guard fiercely, and when lost,  it does not return easily. I hold integrity higher than most other virtues. The truth is not always easy, though. Truth and convenience are not often bedfellows. Truth may be liberating, but it will frequently be agonizing, too.

After hearing a missionary speak or witnessing a missionary in action on the mission field, many people are moved to help out in some way. For some, that means dropping everything and coming to work full-time with the missionary. For most, though, that means having the desire to donate to the mission. With this burning conviction, many people will say to the missionary, “I am going to start sending money to you every month.” People feel good after saying this—like they have accomplished something great through this simple utterance. This statement, though, means much more to the missionary. It means that the missionary potentially can feed another child, support another church, or afford to stay another day in the mission field. So many, though, forget about the promise they made to the missionary. The high of making this pledge is fleeting. Other things become a priority. Bills show up. Student loans stand in the way. Life’s expenses continue to roll in. And the missionary is forgotten.

I have witnessed this too often in my two months here. If Mountain Top Ministries had the money that was promised to us, our budget would be drastically different. We have come to learn that maybe 50% of the pledged funds will actually show up. Imagine hoping that you will be paid 50% of what your salary is supposed to be.  This is what many missionaries face on a daily basis. That is shameful.

But my post is not about guilt; there is already too much guilt within the church. This post is about honesty and altering your decision-making process. When you feel the desire, that conviction, to help a missionary, decide if that feeling will disappear within the next week. Decide if you believe God is actually convicting you to help or if you are only doing because it makes you feel good. Decide if you are going to make it a priority. Decide all of this before making a commitment with a missionary.  Missionaries will not become aggravated because you decided that you couldn’t assist them—they didn’t even know that you have considered it because you were a grown adult and decided to think things through before making a verbal commitment.  Missionaries will become disappointed, distraught, even angry if you say you will help and then don’t. That is dishonesty. That is not God honoring.

Those who have said they would support me came through, as I have mentioned on many occasions. I am eternally grateful for the diverse group of supporters that I have. But I have witnessed missionary after missionary struggle with an unreliable donor base. A missionary has to have a large amount of faith in God before diving into the mission field—there is a faith that God will always provide. Missionaries, too, have to have faith in the people of God who have decided to partner with them. Missionaries face an array of hardships—broken promises from God’s people should never (never.) be one of them.